The grinch that {almost} stole Christmas

I think my morphing into a Christmas grinch began way back in October of 2012, shortly after I found out I was pregnant. I figured out that my holiday rotation would have me working the Christmas after my baby was born. I knew right then and there that I would be miserable that Christmas. They say attitude is a choice… and I chose mine. 

Misery.

In years past, I would only have to work 8 hours on my holiday, if requested. But of course, this year just HAD to be different. The higher ups decided that it would work out better if everyone worked 12 hours on holidays. If that wasn't bad enough, you also are required to work both the Eve and the Day. So on both December 24th and 25th, I was scheduled to work from 7:00AM-7:30PM. 

Leading up to Christmas, everyone naturally plans what they will do on Christmas eve and Christmas day. Whenever people would ask me, I would share my disappointment over having to work and tell them I'd be celebrating with Owen and the rest of the family on other days. I can't tell you the number of times I got the "well, at least Owen doesn't know what's going on this year- next year would be harder. At least you'll have next year off." I gotta tell ya, people… if one more person said that to me, I might have lost it. 

The reality is, that it wasn't about Owen. Selfish or not, it was about me. Last Christmas I didn't have a little baby to snuggle and love on. This Christmas I did- and yet I wouldn't be able to. Last Christmas it was just me and Justin. This year, we were a family of three! Whether or not Owen knew what day it was, was besides the point. I knew what day it was. And I wanted to spend it with my baby.

So my selfish self decided to be miserable. If I wasn't allowed to spend Christmas with my baby, I didn't want to hear about anyone else spending it with him. I honestly had a hard time knowing the plan was for Justin to take him over to his sister's on Christmas day, where they would be celebrating with them and his parents. Of course, I am happy for Owen to get to spend time with his aunt, uncle, cousin, and grandparents. But I'm his mommy!- and I wanted more than anything to be there with him. It not only seemed unfair, but downright wrong that a baby not be with his mother for his first Christmas. :(

On Christmas eve, I prayed the entire drive home from work and yet still managed to maintain an absolutely foul mood. I opened a few stocking stuffers from Justin, then we went to bed.

Christmas morning I got a call from work that I could be off from 7:00AM-3:00PM. I gladly took it! Once Owen woke up, we headed downstairs to open Owen's gifts under the tree. (yes, the ones that I had gone to the trouble of wrapping for him. lol)

We took the pre-shower family photo together - and no we will not be sharing that one. ...Didn't turn out… ;)

But we took a bunch more before Justin had to leave for Aftan's house, and before I had to leave for work.

I'm so thankful that we got to spend the morning together, as a family. I truly think that God took mercy on me and my pitiful self and allowed me that time with my family. I'm quite thankful that we serve such a loving and forgiving God- for I was really being quite miserable and selfish.  I don't know why it was so important to me, but it was. And while I did not want to have to work at all, I went in at 3:00PM a little less miserable than when I had left the night before. 

When I finished at work, I checked in with the Eck household to see how their Christmas was going. Apparently they were running a bit behind, and were only just sitting down to open presents with Santa. I drove home to pick up my boys and we headed over to my parents. 

When we got to my parents everyone was sitting around the table still, having just finished dinner. Everyone was there. :)

It brought me such joy just to see everyone. FINALLY, it felt like a normal Christmas.

As everyone filtered out to leave, we stayed behind to exchange some gifts with my parents. 

It was a late night for Owen, but he hung in there for us and actually slept in tip 8:30AM the next morning. :)

I realize that with each year things may change and our plans will need to be flexible. I do believe that  Christmas is a season and not a day- (though I'm not sure the grinch in me would agree)

On Friday evening (Dec 27), we had my parents over for dinner at our house. It was a lot of fun to have them, as it was the first time we've really hosted them for a meal in our new home. We had set up this time together, thinking we would not have seen them at all on Christmas eve or Christmas day. Many thanks to Santa for making a belated appearance at my request. :)

The next day we got together with the Benders at Justin's parents for our gift exchange. We had a great time visiting with them and seeing Owen and Sydney together.

While it is true every year, this year especially, I needed to constantly remind myself that while being with family is so important to me, it is NOT the reason for the season. Nor is it the reason we celebrate. But rather we take this time to celebrate the birth of our Savior. For without his birth, death and resurrection, none of this matters. But because of it all, we have a true reason to be joyful. We have been pardoned for our sins of which the penalty is death. Christ paid that price for us by dying on the cross. And by believing in Him, we have the promise of eternity with Him. What an incredible gift we have been given!
Now that the holiday has passed, I look back and acknowledge how sad it is that I had decided to be so miserable, when clearly all we ought to feel is joy. I hope to remember this and remind myself of it in the years to come, when the hustle and bustle of Christmas comes around once again.

THE TRUE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS

Jesus Christ was born this day

So many years before

He came a servant to the lost,

Though he was Lord of Lords

We celebrate this joyous time,
Reflecting on His birth
Not born in a mansion, but a stable
As if He had no worth

He came so He could identify
With the human heart of man
And gave His life as a sacrifice,
Offering a better plan

A plan that reconciles us back
To our loving Father God,
Bringing hope and redemption from
Sins ruling, iron rod

For this is the only reason that we
Should celebrate this day,
To become focused on anything else,
Would take the meaning away

So let's arise with joy in our hearts
And share it with everyone
The meaning of Christmas will always be
The birth of Jesus – God's son

© By M.S.Lowndes